For a few years there, I had started to believe it myself: a woman, past child bearing age, with graying hair and a body that tells her life's story, becomes invisible. She is no longer sexy, desirably and is hardly useful.
"Crone" is the word. And its meaning, and subliminal vibration, are "an ugly old woman". Despite many attempts from some corners to reclaim a positive content, the word sends shivers down my spine. I had visions of a thin-lipped, dried up self, empty of sexual energy and life force
As I arrived at the menopausal juncture a few years back, I turned my focus inward. I investigated how I truly feel, how I got here, and who or what is "I".
Where had I betrayed myself along the way? Where had I lacked courage? Where had I sought approval before daring to speak, and where had I felt that I needed permission first?
Who was that voice that had told me to fear this transformation? The men in my life certainly never voiced or embodied those views. Indeed, it was the men who helped me most to get over them! (Thank you! You know who you are!)
Is it perhaps simply "society" that tells me this? Or is the voice in my DNA, echoing down the generations? Both so disembodied!
I came to realise that I have a choice: I can continue to embody that voice, irrespective of its source, or I begin to embody my true nature.
And so, here I am.
Practicing inner yoga, I have become the explorer and artist of my inner universe. I feel grounded and strong. Able to withstand the winds of uncertainty, radiating my true colours and resonating with my soul's song.
To all of you out there, worried about the menopausal threshold, fear not!
It is a rebirth over which we have control, in which we have another chance to consciously exercise our divine creative powers.
Let's make a noise. Let's embody a new "story", for our own benefit, and that of all the women and men out there!
I want to hear and see your stories of empowerment! How did you find your divine spark? What tools and practices helped you?